Have you ever got so caught up in thinking about something that is going on and playing it out in your mind to the point where you have thought of all the things that could go wrong if you decide to do the something you started to think about?
I often use the example of wanting to go to the movies…..you look at what movies are on, where they are on, what time they are on and how long it will take you to get there….all quite reasonable actions….but then you get caught up in, what will you wear, what if ??? sees me, oh I know that ???? lives in that area, I may come across them, I need to wash and dry that outfit so I look spectacular, just in case I am seen, I better take the good car so I know it will make it to the movies, I had better call my mother, brother, sister, children and all my friends to let them know I won’t be home, just in case they need me…..the list goes on….not only are you so exhausted by thinking of all these things you think you need to do (but really don’t need to), you have missed the movie because it has taken you so long to actually get out the front door.
The other scenario that can often happen is…..when I said xyz, they moved their right foot, does that mean that they didn’t like what I said, they are loosing or have lost interest, they want to go somewhere else, they don’t have time to listen to me, they don’t think what I say is valuable, they don’t love me anymore, they are going to leave me, I am worthless…..
So often we get caught up in our own negative self talk, we totally undermine ourselves, our freedom to be and our love for ourselves.
How do you stop this?
Identify what the triggers are that has brought you to the point of feeling so uncomfortable with yourself that you get caught in your thoughts is one of the keys to unwinding this pattern.
I often recommend the MYOB system. No I am not telling you to go and learn how to run an accounting software package. MYOB stands for Mind Your Own Business. So often when we get caught up in our thoughts and worry about what other people think, feel, want from us or what they will say to us, we are not Minding Our Own Business.
What other people think and feel really is none of your business. What you think and feel about yourself is your number one priority. You can’t make people feel things you want them to feel, just like other people can’t make you feel a certain way, you decide the way you feel and react to things. You make that choice, not other people.
If you need help with MYOB or identifying your Triggers, click here to send us a request for an appointment.
Remember don’t overthink it 😊